Tuesday, February 20, 2024

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READ: Proverbs 13

The one who will not use the rod hates his son,
but the one who loves him disciplines him diligently. Proverbs 13:24 (CSB)

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Yes! We finally made it to the favourite verse of the evangelical parent. Finally, we can laugh in the face of dumb woke parents and use the discipline tactics our parents used on us with license and without guilt.

“The Bible says it, I believe it, that settles it.”

“Hand me the ROD!”

Ah, the bliss of unthinking.

It is baffling to me. So just to put this to rest once and for all let’s look at the things the Old Testament folks believed – and enshrined in scripture – and we don’t today.

1. Treatment of slaves. In Exodus 21 we have guidelines for the purchase of Hebrew slaves. Now, someone will say! “But Thom! The guidelines laid out were generous compared to other ancient standards.” Great! And today the standards have changed again. No one in their right mind would say God is even remotely ok with keeping slaves.
2. Treatment of women. I mean even Timothy recognized that it was the woman who sinned first but it’s ok because she will be saved through childbirth! (1 Timothy 2) And yet women were leaders in the early church. Jesus hung out with not only women but also women who were sex workers and carrying “unclean” diseases. No, women are made equal to men despite what Tim or the Patriarchs think.
3. Treatment of the enemy’s daughters. Let’s combine #1 and #2 for added effect. In Numbers 31, Moses receives an imperative from God that grants them the privilege of keeping the virgin girls after they slaughter the rest of the Midianites. We see war crimes like this still happening and no one in their right mind would justify it as being acceptable to God.

Finally,

• Bacon. I MEAN COME ON!

Now, someone might say there’s a big difference between capturing virgin girls and spanking your child, but the Proverb isn’t even talking about spanking, it’s endorsing corporal punishment with an object.

I think the problem is that war, slavery, and (to a lesser degree) the extreme subjugation of women are very distant from our experience. But disciplining children isn’t. And given how deviant they can be, we resort to more and more extreme measures for discipline out of frustration.

It’s never a good idea to devise discipline tactics while frustrated.

But what do we do with Proverbs like this?

First, hold it up to the standard of extreme love, perseverance, and patience that Jesus demonstrated on earth, and that God now demonstrates with us.

Second, use your common sense. If you just think for a few minutes about life in the ancient world, you will see many, many more examples of lifestyle choices that don’t make an ounce of sense today.

Third, remember, it is ok to let ancient ideas remain ancient ideas. We don’t need to try and find a way to synthesize every ancient idea into a modern paradigm.

The long and short of it is, that the best parenting advice is not found in Proverbs, it’s found in Jesus… and maybe 1 Corinthians 13.