Tuesday, December 10, 2024

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In him was life, and that life was the light of men. That light shines in the darkness, and yet the darkness did not overcome it. John 1:4-5

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Imagine for a moment you are sleeping, soundly. You were up for the whole night and now it is finally your turn to sleep and you have seized upon the opportunity. You might say it’s wonderful, only you don’t know it, because you are asleep. 

Just imagine… breathe deeply. Snore a bit. 

(But keep your eyes open… you’re reading.) 

Then you are shocked from your hibernation by someone screaming, “Oh my God, oh my God, we’re going to die, we’re going to die!” 

That someone is your wife, and cars are passing you – sideways – on the interstate somewhere between Kansas City and St. Louis. Panicking, she masterfully whiteknuckles her way to the median, as cars find their final resting places. For ONCE you are at the front of the traffic jam and not five miles back. 

In total, I think five cars were involved in the crash. Luckily, we were not one of them. 

But luck or not, my peaceful rest was done. Shattered like the 2010 Ford Mustang on the far side of the highway. 

I like those movies where the hero is walking calmly away from some calamity with explosions going off in slow motion in the background. Windows exploding. Bodies careening. Dead calm in the dark eyes of the hero. 

It would never happen that way. 

You know why? Because no one has so much peace in their heart that they can turn their back on a cataclysm like that. 

Even Jesus, who was lulled by the same waves that terrified his friends, did not have peace in the Garden of Gethsemane. 

At Christmas, our family photos are embossed with “Peace on Earth” but there isn’t peace on Earth. And, by the way, there wasn’t peace on earth when Jesus was born either. Anyone who has given birth or given witness to birth knows it isn’t a peaceful process today, let alone 2,000 years ago in sub-optimal environments. And there surely wasn’t be peace when, after the newborn baby finally fell asleep, a dozen shepherds came crashing through the door. I can’t blame the shepherds for their lack of sense, their adrenaline was probably pretty high as a result of the angels that had just slammed into their dimension. (I imagine that cacophony elicited some version of “Oh my God, oh my God, we’re going to die, we’re going to die!” for the shepherds as well.) 

No, when our world is jarred, we don’t walk away like a hero in a movie. We run. Or faint. Or hide, or fight, or die. But we don’t merely walk. No one does, because panic doesn’t play favourites. And yet, it seems like some people are more prone to panic and others to peace. Why is that? 

I think one reason is that they have learned to hold light in their mind – or hearts – even when it is dark. 

I am reading the Wheel of Time series. (There are 14 books and an average of 826 pages per book so I’m going to be reading it for a while.) The main character of the book, Rand al’Thor, has reason to be panicky from time to time; there are monsters, assassins, and conspirators everywhere he turns. To find peace in a world trying to kill him, he practices a trick his father taught him. He imagines a tiny flame in his mind’s eye which becomes the only thing he sees sending all emotion into it until only peace remains.

I’m pretty sure that would be a Buddhist practice if Rand al’Thor lived in our world and not a fantasy land à la JRR Tolkien. And yet… there is a light in our world too; it shines in darkness. Not darkness like that of a cave, but into the darkness of a panicked heart. 

I find it exceptionally difficult to hold that light in my mind’s eye much of the time. There’s no way, I can hold it in my mind when I awake to cars going sideways down an interstate, but even when I’m safe in my home, peace is so elusive these days. 

Peace is not like a board game you get at Christmas that you open, read the rules, and start to play winning or losing. Peace is a muscle. The rules are simple, if we do not exercise the muscle regularly, when we need its strength it won’t be there. But how do you exercise peace? 

We practice the presence of Light – which is life to mankind. We hold Him in our mind’s eye at the price of all else. We must learn to be still when stillness is possible and hopefully it will be more ready when stillness is not.

I am not good at being still which means I struggle to be at peace. But I am back at the practicing part – I want to be ready for whatever this season has in store for me. Angels would be a bit nutty though.